More Than Friendship
by Misha
Summary: Ron thinks about Harry's relationship with Draco and about his real feelings for his best friend.


More Than Friendship   
By Misha 

Disclaimer- Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling and is not mine, however much I might wish differently. However, I am not making any money off of this, so please do not sue me! 

Author's Notes- Okay, first of all, this is strange, but I can see just about every character wanting Harry. Or at least the main ones. I'm a huge Harry/Hermione or Harry/Draco shipper, but I've also written unrequited Harry/Ginny and Harry/Ron angst. This is the latter. It's just a short, angsty piece told from Ron's PoV as he thinks about Harry. As I mentioned this is one-sided Harry/Ron, but it's also Harry/Draco. Make sense? Well, that's all, remember feedback is very much appreciated! In fact, it's craved! 

Rating- PG-13 

Summery- Ron thinks about Harry's relationship with Draco and about his real feelings for his best friend. 

Pairing- Harry/Ron, Harry/Draco   


* * *

I know that right now you are getting ready to go out again tonight. 

You think that I am asleep, but I'm not. Instead I am lying here watching as you prepare to slip out of the dorm. 

I know where you are going. 

You are not that good at hiding things, you know. Neither of you are. I have known about your relationship for months. 

So has Hermione. But we both thought that it was better not to say anything. I think it is because we both hope that if we keep quiet, it will eventually go away. 

We both want you, you know. 

God, half the damn school wants you. Actually, probably more than half, more like most of the school. Male and female. You could have anyone you wanted. 

So why did you have to want **him**? What does he offer you that someone else couldn't? 

What makes you find solace in his arms, when you could find it in someone else's, no problem? When I would give anything for you to find it in mine? 

I love you so completely and you do not see it. 

You do not see the fact that I worship you, would do anything for you. Well, maybe you do, but you dismiss it as mere friendship. 

Sometimes I think that it is because you do not want to see anything other than friendship there. You do not want to admit the fact that I have been in love with you since our third year. 

The worst part of this is that I know that Malfoy really does love you. He tries to hide it, but, wellÉ When you have spent three years of your life secretly in love with Harry Potter, you learn to recognize the signs in other people and he has got it bad for you. Almost as bad as I do. 

But that is where the similarities end. 

Because he is not laying here in bed alone at this moment, imagining you in someone else's arms. No, right now he is the one in your arms, and I hate him for it. 

I hate him even more than I did before I found out about the two of you. 

Do you love him? Is that why you keep going to him? Or is it just lust? 

I desperately hope it is the latter, but I fear that it isn't. 

Because I have spent six months watching you continue this secret love affair with him and I know that if it was just sex, you would be bored by now. 

But you are not, instead, I have the horrible feeling that you get more involved every day. 

Hermione and I both try to ignore what is going on, so we never talk about it. But, once, she mentioned that she thought that there was always something between you and him, just that there was not an outlet for it at first. That at the beginning you two masqueraded your attraction as animosity and that is how your rivalry began, but that eventually you could not run from it anymore. 

I do not know. 

The only people who do would be you and him, and I am certainly not going to ask either of you. 

Besides, I do not really want to know any of the details. I just want to try and pretend that it does not exist. 

But I am not doing a very good job, because on nights like this, I can not help but think about it. 

I cannot sleep, all I can do is lay here and know that your bed is empty. That you are with him right now and not me. Never me. 

I wonder how long you are going to keep hiding it. I kind of hope that it never becomes public, because once does, it is unescapable, I can no longer hide from it. However, as long as you are hiding it, I can forget that it exists, I can keep up my delusions. 

But, I know that you cannot hide forever. Either you will come out in the open with it, or it will blow up in your faces. 

I am actually kind of hoping for option B, myself, yet at the same time, I dread it. Because I am afraid that it would destroy you. If you really love him, and I pray to God that you don't, but if you do, then losing him would cause you pain and I am not sure I want that. I love you and I want you to be happy. 

But is it wrong for me to want that happiness to be with me? 

Or even with Hermione. I could handle that. In fact, I think I could handle you being with anyone but him. 

But I do not get a choice, do I? 

All I get to do is lay here and think, while you are off in his arms. 

I am your best friend, but I do not want to be. I want to be more. I would give anything to be what Draco is. To be your enemy is public, but your lover in secret. 

Your friendship means the world to be, but not even half as much as your love would. God, how I wish I could tell you how much I long for something more than friendship, but I can't. 

Because I know that I will never get it and that if I say the words, I will screw up what we do have. And I do not want to do that either. 

So, I am stuck. 

What I have is not enough, but it is all that is available to me and I could not bear not having anything. 

So, I keep silent and at night, I lay in my bed, all the while knowing why you are not in yours. 

The End 


End file.
